This Weeks Topic: How Well Do You Know The Person You Are Caring For?

This is the very first question you should be asking yourself? How well do you know your loved one or the person you will be caring for? Do you know what their finances look like? Do you have their passwords to online accounts? Do you know what medications they take and when? Do you know what they have offically been diagnosed with? Do you know what you are advocating for? What type of care do they need right now? What do their future needs look like? These are all of the questions you need to be asking right now while your "person" is able to answer them for you, or someone close to them.

My suggestion to you is create a binder for your loved one. Get yourself some dividers. I suggest making copies of all important documenation so that you have it handy and easily accessible for all doctors appointments and ease of access at your finger tips. This is what worked for us. Having copies of these items proved helpful with my grandmother as her dementia progressed she became very possessive over her funds and needed to "see" where her money was at all times. Make sure to document to the penny! She also needed to "see" all of her physical cards in her wallet and touch them each day. She often misplaced them and having a paper copy helped us avoid missed appointments and delay of care because we were able to provide account numbers and copies as we awaited new physical copies.

I broke the binder out into sections with divders. I've listed the sections below how I broke them out. This proved helpful in several situations.

Section I

Copy of Drivers License and/or State Identification front and back

Copy of Social Security Card front and back

Section II

Copies of Health Insurance Cards front and back

List of Doctors and Specialist along with addresses and phone numbers

Section III

Copies of Credit Cards front and back

Login information usernames/passwords for each account

Login infomration username/passwords for each online account (including email account)

Section IIII

Copies of Bank Statements front and back

Login information username/passwords for each account

Copies of Mortgage Statemens front and back

Copies of any insurances automobile/home front and back

Login information username/password front and back

Copies of Utility Statements front and back

Login information username/password for each account

Section V

Copies of any car titles/house deeds etc.

Section VI

I kept a running list of all debts owed. I would keep a running spreadsheet each month of money in and money out similar to a checkbook. Some dementia patients have a hard time understanding money and become very protective over income and funds. Having a way to show all of their funds being allocated can allievate some of the tension.

Section VII

Copies of any Wills, Advanced Directives, Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, MOLST, or other legal documentation. We will touch on this next if you are unfamiliar. These are all documents you will need to become familiar with to properly advocate for your loved one.

Section VIII

Diagnosis - What has your loved one officially been diagnosed with? Do you have documentation from a doctor stating a diagnosis? What medications are they taking. List them here. Medication name, dosage, frequency. I'd have several copies of this in this section. While my grandmother was on limited medications, my mother was on several after her cancer diagnosis, even after treatment and keeping track became a nightmare. While filling out paperwork for doctors offices I would say "see attached" and provide the list of diagnosis and medications.

Section VIIII

This section I reserved for my notes. I included notes from doctors visits. What I anticipated her next needs might be, what help I might need (physically, financially, emotioinally), and yes you will need them all! We are all strong but not that strong and if there is one thing I learned its that it takes a village. The key is to estabilishing those needs and that right village, which we will touch on as well in the coming days.

mise we will touch on the other things you should be monitoring as well in the coming days. This is just the beginning of what I hope will be engaging content and helpful for those who are just entering or looking for help navigating the unknown world of helping our parents cross over peacefully.